The Story of Mr. Bird

I intended to write a short story. I realized it was going to be hard for me. My imagination is strictly limited to topics which I’m very enthusiastic (birds and dicks are not among those). When I write something out of them I get lost and I don’t know how to end my story. I’m asking you your understanding because my story deals little about birds, is too long and it is little fun in it.

The story is ninety-five percent fiction and five percent real. I actually had an Englishman friend whose name was K.J.H. Bird. He was an Engineer and he spoke good French and some Spanish. For many years he was Research & Development Mgr. of acompany producing feeder equipment. Right from when we met we got along very well. It’s ten years since I don’t hear from him and he doesn’t from me. I feel sad for that.

Mr. K.J.H. Bird and his site www.bird.uk

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My English friend Ken, who is sixty-four was living in Watford which is a town North of London rather close to it. His full name is Kenneth J. K. Bird. He is very friendly and he speaks very good French and some Spanish as well. When he was a boy his parents realized he was very clever and his mind was surprisingly what we would call multidisciplinary. He showed interest for many different matters. By the time he was ready to go to the university he had made a strong determination. He would study two careers simultaneously. So he did. He choose English philology and believe it or not he also choose Automotive engineering.

After a couple of years in the university he proved to be right in his decision since he had excellent marks in most subjects of both studies. So he went on and he finished achieving Master degrees both in Philology and Engineering.

After graduation Ken started looking for a job and he got married with Charlize. Since engineering offered by far more job possibilities Ken forgot philology and joined a company producing chemical feeder equipment. He was brilliant and effective in his job and soon got a promotion to the position of Research & Development Manager.

By that time I was working in a company which was a ‘sister’ of Ken’s company. Right from when we first met we got along very well and professionally we shared most views. We used to meet several times every year. We saw each other in meetings and in a fewer occasions when he and his family came to Mallorca and stopped a day or two in Barcelona. Ken looked to me like the perfect paradigm of an Englishman. I got no idea how I looked to him. I strongly hope I didn’t look to him like the perfect paradigm of the Spanish torero. But we understood each other like if we were from the same nationality and our relation and esteem was very profound.

More than twenty years went on and unexpectedly Ken’s company was sold to the Unilever Anglo-Dutch group. After some months of uncertainty he secured his position and succeed in getting a further promotion.

His new job made him to travel on business throughout Europe. He had to get used to different, sometimes odd English accents and syntax of his colleagues from most countries in the continent. Complete sentences, comments and even jokes were said using English words but they had little if any sense when listened by an English native listener. Reversing those observations and retrieving some of his philology knowledge Ken slowly began feeling much interest in all that rich and complex world of languages. Humour talking was the more exciting part to him.

Six years later Unilever was in financial trouble and they set up a program of costs reductions and personnel dismissal. Ken was asked to go on an early retirement and a very good compensation package was offered to him. He felt sad and disappointed the first twenty-four hours. However next day he saw the sun shining as never before. He run to the company’s HHRR office and signed his resignation trying to hide his exultant mood. He felt free for the first time since he was at the university and in addition he could not foresee anymore personal economy worries for the rest of his live.

When Ken left his job our contact got less and less frequent. I have to say sadly that it is more than four years I have not seen him. That’s the way life is. This reminds me a short poem written by a Far Eastern poet, ‘Live is a succession of encounters and goodbyes’. From then up until now I only know brushstrokes of Ken’s story. I guess I will be able to summarize it in a consistent explanation.

Ken and his wife moved from Watford to Alfreton in the North of Nottingham. Once retired he had a lot of free time. Ken knew a lot about computers, and all internet tools and tricks. He went back to his humour hobby and thought it will be interesting to work out some internet layout dealing with European humour. He first made some tests in a limited scale among his former colleagues. When he saw the preliminary outcome of the tests he went on developing his idea of establishing a huge humour cross linked database. He set up an internet application. Currently Ken’s web has 370,000 visitors and some 7,000 regular participants. End of my story.

If you feel interested you may visit Ken’s site. His site’s address is:

www. bird.uk

The good memory readers will likely notice that Ken’s humour site’s name is just his straight own name. Although it looks like this, the name (bird) of the site is owed to his sense of humour and his predisposition to playing words.

He asked me not to disclose the actual origin of that name but I’ll do an exception for you. The Ken’s site name BIRD is an acronym. It stands for a list of four humoristic European trends.

Burlesque (France)
Ironic (England)
Rigid (Northern Europe)
Dilettante (Italy)